Guess what? 2019 is here!
Welcome to a new year!
Whether you absolutely crushed 2018, or you struggled to accomplish any of your goals, I want to help make 2019 the best year of your life.
Although I try not to tell others what to do, I do get a lot of questions from people in our ADHD tribe about how I get so much done. So, I decided to go a bit outside of my personal rule of not giving unsolicited advice and tell you what works for me, hoping it might work for you also.
So how can you make 2019 the best year of your life? How can you keep working on your goals, stay on track and end up a year from now knowing you did your best?
The answer? By being true to yourself and pursuing your dreams and goals.
Let me say that again…by being true to YOURSELF and pursuing YOUR dreams and goals.
The key to this is “YOUR”. Don’t try to be somebody you’re not, and don’t try to follow the dreams, outcomes, goals of others.
The concept might seem simple enough, but it’s a struggle that a lot of us living with ADHD share.
WHY IT’S SO HARD WITH ADHD
Why? Because a lot of the goals or “to do’s” that we aim for in life are actually the ideas and beliefs of others. Others without as much understanding of ADHD.
When we have ADHD, over time it is easy to stop trusting ourselves. Instead we start looking outside of ourselves for what must be best. At times this might work. But, if you continue to struggle with not meeting the goals you set year after year, consider this: Are you living a life where you are pursuing the things that are meaningful and important to you? Or, instead, are you are paying more attention to what’s “out there”, than what is inside and true for yourself?
Try this. Think about your goals for a minute.
Do you really want to be more organized? Have a structured systematic plan? Walk 10,000 steps a day? Alphabetize your receipts? Balance your finances down to the last penny? Have a clean kitchen everyday?
If you do…really do…great! You will rock it in 2019!!
However, what if you don’t? And how will you know the difference?
DO THIS INSTEAD
For a moment, get quiet and honest with yourself. Now consider which ones of those resolutions resonate with your heart or soul? Try taking a deep breath slowly in and out, pause, say the goal out loud and consider how it lands for a moment.
WHERE YOUR SUCCESS IS
The goals that are yours will feel like they are coming from deep inside. You may even notice that when you are speaking them out loud, your voice is calm, settled and solid. If they are not meaningful to you, they will be accompanied by a “should”. For instance, I really (should) get my finances in order. I really (should) start walking. I really (should) have a system for washing dishes every night.
Goals that are true for you will feel more like a “want”. For instance: I want to enjoy a less chaotic or cluttered environment. I want to enjoy living in a body that is strong and healthy. I want to be prepared for tomorrow by leaving my kitchen clean at night.
WHY IT MATTERS
It starts with being aware and honest with yourself about what is important to you. Then you can design the goals, steps and outcomes to make those changes. Creating new habits with this foundation will have more likelihood of success. AND you’ll have more energy and satisfaction to keep going.
Trying to make changes based on what others want or expect you to be will always be difficult. It drains our energy and is uninspiring because it is not who we are. It’s so much easier to be ourselves. Growing and moving towards being your best self, based on what’s important to you with ADHD, will be easier with much more chance of success.
And lest you forget…in the end the world gets to enjoy your unique amazingness. J
So, as 2019 begins I encourage you to set goals for yourself. Just make sure that those goals you set are ones that are important to YOU.