Do you know someone who is frequently late or forgetful? Corners the market on forgotten birthday apologies, or struggles chaotically with the demanding needs of their overly busy world?
This week, I lovingly tell a real-life adult-with-ADHD story, so that perhaps others can understand and appreciate the whirlwind of our days. The best laid plans, the chaos, the putting out fires, the procrastination and barely making deadlines. Meet Catherine, and see if she sounds familiar to you…
“This week has been crazy! But I accomplished my most important goal! I filed my tax return! Well, I filed my extended tax return. I even get money back. I wish I had known that before. Oh well…
Best Laid Plans
“I had made an appointment with the accountant for Thursday so I had a firm deadline and was sure to have enough time this week to get them (taxes) done. All I had left was to finish up the last two months of 2010 and they would be complete…better late than never…it should have taken me only a few hours. But on Monday, I ended up with a cold. Not sure where I got it…probably stress. I couldn’t concentrate on the taxes, being all congested, and everything in my medicine cabinet had expired. So I lay on the couch all day. On Tuesday, I still felt awful, so I headed to the pharmacy for decongestant. When I went to pay I couldn’t find my debit card. Vaguely I remembered that I must have left it on the table in my entry. I put it there purposely, on top of my glasses, so I was sure to grab it when I left the house. Guess that didn’t work.
The Chaos
“I left my items at the checkout counter, unpurchased, and headed out to my car. I could do this…just a quick trip home and back after getting my debit card. I was frustrated with myself for forgetting the card, but I was determined not to let it get the better of me. Then, trying to start my car, it wouldn’t turn over… like the battery was dying. Sigh. Glad I had my AAA membership on speed dial! They’d come and jump me. I kept getting the “all our lines are currently busy” message. Of all days for my car to die! This was the first day of heavy rain in the area. A major day for car troubles in California! I stayed on the phone waiting for someone to respond and realized that in addition to the “all our lines are currently busy” message, my phone was beeping a warning that my phone battery was dying. I thought I had charged it last night. I guess I forgot.
Putting Out Fires
“After waiting on a dying phone for what seemed like forever, I decided to try my car again and it turned over! Thank heaven for small miracles! I got home, decided I would head back to the store later. Where had the time had gone?! I had planned days ahead of time and here I was with one day left to finish them. No problem…I would just buckle down and focus tomorrow so I would have them ready in time for my appointment.
Barely Making Deadlines
“On Wednesday, I gathered pens, paper and calculator… all that I needed to complete my taxes. Then I couldn’t remember where I had put the accordion files with last year’s taxes. I began to panic, frantically looking where I last remembered seeing them and then continued to tear the rest of the house apart looking for the files. Several hours later, finding everything but my taxes…including last month’s mortgage bill I swore I had sent out and the two overdue library books that I had just paid the fines for, I returned to the stacked tables next to my computer. I could swear this was where I initially thought I had left them (the taxes) several months before. I began to tackle the stacked tables one by one. That is, after clearing off the papers piled on top of them. Under the last table, BEHIND my paper shredder that I had put there because I thought the shredder unsightly, were all of my tax files!!!! By this time I was so upset that I had to call the accountant and reschedule myself for the last available appointment on Saturday. I ended up getting them filed, just in time, on the last day! Did I mention how crazy life has been?”
Do you know a Catherine?
Know her? I am her! I couldn’t believe this as I read it, it was like you were talking about my daily life. Thank you for this article. I never realized just how much my ADHD has affected me until I was able to find articles like this and ADDClasses.com. Where my doctor was only treating me with medicines (many after 1-1/2 years), you are giving me practical advice and a real understanding of what it is like to have ADHD.
Hi Charlotte 🙂 I’m glad you like the article and are finding useful information to help understand your ADHD. Let me know what else you would like to hear about…!
Exactly what Charlotte said! I am a Catherine (just spelled differently LOL). People think I’m just ditzy or even stupid. I’m blessed to have a supportive family (who are the rare few allowed to poke fun at me) and an amazing doctor.
Thanks for making me feel normal…at least for a few minutes.
Hi Kathyrn! Thanks for the comment! Having a supportive family and one that has a good sense of humor and appreciates your other brilliances 🙂 I understand the “normal” part…I have to remind myself at times it can be over rated 🙂 Keep in touch ~ Laurie
I lived all my life not knowing what the heck was wrong with me. I even confronted my mom in my mid teens asking her to see a doctor or ‘something.’ I couldn’t figure out why i had problems remembering or learning and felt so dumb being around me peers although I carried at 3.8 average.
I studied much harder, but my mom’s excuse was I was just busy and needed to slow down.
I took one of those on line tests and started reading about ADHD and I checked off everything on there as though they were reading my mind and someone actually knew the trouble I was going through! I finally went to see a specialist and been tested in the past few weeks. Going to see another one for possible medication tomorrow to help me cope. WISH ME LUCK and thank you for the courage to show others that ADHD exists and it’s nothing to be ashamed of! We just have to handle things in a different way and personalize our life to make our life easier.
I hope once my end gets bit more controlled, I’ll be able to attempt college and maybe get something out of it this time 🙂
Hi Mom of Three…It never ceases to amaze me that people seem to know that something is “different”, even at a young age…despite doing well in school. Your description of yourself sounds sooo familiar. Congratulations on taking the next steps…let me know how it goes…the initial period after diagnosis can be exciting and confusing. I am happy to offer whatever support I can. College?! What is your dream to study???? ~ Laurie
Lol as Charlotte and Kathryn have stated I also know the Catherine experience well. When in the mist of going through times like that I get so worn out and frustrated then after it is over and I am in the mist of I am sure another ADHD moment I step back and look at it and I cant do anything but laugh to and at myself and also say next time I will have a different strategy and of course laugh some more. Thank you for sharing this story.
HI Chris!Thanks for your comment. Yes, taking a moment to “pause” in the midst of the chaos can help a great deal. That and the ability to laugh at ourselves from time to time. Thanks again for your comment :)~ Laurie
You told it so well, Laurie! One of the many valuable things you do for me is make me feel normal, or at least not like such an oddball — if only for a moment or two. But those moments are precious, after a lifetime of feeling different, and not normal!
HI Kate! You are normal…perfectly, wonderfully normal. Never change…well, except for maybe the wondering if you are normal part 🙂 Most fondly, Laurie
Wow, this happened to me this week, not the taxes part, though i havent been able to find my forms since i dont file anything at all. Too much detail, and the car part this week, breaking down and not remembering to charge the phone the night before and having to use someone else’s cell phone numersous times, and then stating “well at least its not raining today” to the person who lent me their cell phone. ha
Hi Letitia! Thanks for the comment. Not surprising at all that you have had so similar experiences…it is part of the experience we share! How’s the car? 🙂 ~Laurie
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